District 9

Wikus and the Mothership.

We’ve been hearing about this movie for some time, and there is a level of hype surrounding 2009's 'District 9' that we haven’t really seen since Cloverfield came along to disappoint us all. There were street signs posted in major cities around the world with the “For Human Use Only” slogans and the stick figure aliens on them. It worked pretty well too, with most people you’ll ask wanting to go see it.

The movie itself is not quite what you’d expect. It’s set in the style of a documentary, but I think that it works well with the story arc. And, unlike Cloverfield’s similar doco-like film techniques, we don’t get an epileptic with autism holding the camera. We also have large parts of the film set in cinema style to give it a bit more depth and immersion.

This is one of the few films where you don’t want us to win. You boo the humans, because we act like massive cunts full of sand, and because these giant alien prawns are being taken for a massive ride to get-fucked-by-the-governmentville. They are refugees being kept down and uninformed for the benefit of big corporations and ‘the man’. It’s like Guantanamo Bay, except we sympathise with the aliens because they matter. The humans are portrayed as greedy, cold hearted bastards who only think of their gain in a situation, so it’s pretty spot on there.

The aliens show more emotion than us, and are more family orientated, looking after their young before themselves. That little prawn... he’s just so cute, like a little krill, or something. I defy you not to just go “Awww” when you see him. I even named him Wallace. Sure, it’s not his real name, and I can’t remember what his real name was, but that’s unimportant. Little Wallace loves to play games! And he’s just so friendly!

Awwww....

More human than human, then. But I think that’s what they wanted us to feel.
I also love the setting. Fuck Hollywood and fuck the U.S. Johannesburg is where it’s at. I love the South African accent. I love hearing them yell “Foock!”. I loved the dank, shithole slum that makes up district 9 (and most of South Africa – zing!) and that it’s rife with crime, corruption, interspecies – and intergalactic - prostitution and... cat food monopolies. Yes, cat food is big business in district 9. The aliens just can’t seem to get enough. It’s like meth only cheaper. The aliens are apparently pensioners.

All in all this is a movie you will not expect going into the cinema, but I think that’s why it is so memorable. It’s original and stand-out and it’s done well, very well. Relative newcomer Neill Blomkamp teamed up with Peter Jackson to create a truly incredible piece of story-telling.

It’s a sad movie right at the end. I would have cried too, but being a man I couldn’t, so I did what every man does instead; drink until the feelings stop and yell at women like it’s their fault.