From Dusk Till Dawn

Danny Trejo angry! Danny Trejo smash!

I’ve rambled on in the past about my obsession with Quentin Tarantino. I use the term ‘obsession’ here to describe my fantasies where we skip, hand in hand, through a golden field of knee-high wheat, the sun setting at our backs and the wind blowing through out hair. “Oh Quentin”, I would whisper as he gently massaged my shoulders. I’d wrap my arms about his waist and hold on tightly as we rode a white stallion along a sun-kissed beach. The smell of the salt water invigorating us as he lays me down onto the sand and kisses me deepl...

I think you’re getting the gist here.

1996’s From Dusk Till Dawn has it all, hot cars, hotter women, plenty of tit and, the current flavour of the month with thirteen year old girls (it’s not me, unfortunately), vampires! These vampires, however, are real fucking vampires. They don’t sparkle, they don’t ponce around with were-poofs and they don’t fuck animals (unless you count Kristen Stewart). No. These vampires will ruin your shit at the drop of a sombrero, because these vampires – like 40% of the United States’ work force – are Mexican.

George Clooney stars as Seth Gecko, a recently escaped criminal and full time bad-ass who, along with his sex-offending brother Richard Gecko (Tarantino), must make it across the border into Mexico to meet with their contact and establish a new life south of the border. In their way is the US border patrol and a shit storm of Texas Rangers, Walker not included. Seth ‘acquires’ the help of Jacob Fuller (Harvey Keitel), an ex-minister who hates God and now travels across the country in a motor-home with his Chinese son and sweet little daughter (Juliette Lewis).
Jacob gets them all across the border into Taco land where they are to meet their contact in a trucker bar called the ‘Titty Twister’. They sit down for a few drinks to pass the time while waiting for Carlos and watch the gorgeous Salma Hayek do a very erotic dance when shit suddenly goes all kinds of bad. All Hell breaks loose, literally, and our rag-tag band of unlikely heroes must survive until dawn.

Directed by Robert Rodriguez, best known for his desperado trilogy and the unfortunate Spy Kids series, this movie has his usual Tarantino appearance, granted a much bigger appearance than usual. In Planet Terror he was a rapist, in Desperado he was a drug cartel’s errand boy and in this film he is, as previously stated, one hell of a sex offender. Also, as always with Rodriguez’s films, you can expect to see Danny Trejo and Cheech Marin – apparently Mexico’s chief export – who plays at least 3 different roles. Are these two guys the only male actors in all of Me-hee-co? Or did all the other actors already jump the border?
Also appearing from other Rodriguez movies are special-effects legend Tom Savini as ‘Sex Machine: the man with a crotch gun’, the ‘destined to always play a Texas Ranger’ Michael Parks as a Texas Ranger and, finally, ‘front-man for Tito and the Tarantulas’ Tito Larriva as Tito Larriva, front-man for Tito and the Tarantulas. Surprisingly we also see John Hawkes, that Jew from Deadwood. But that’s another story.

Ok, so I’ve covered the premise here, but what about the cast? Well, the cast is fantastic. Harvey Keitel is like a fucking god, so cool and collected. The man just drips with grizzled bitterness and a distinct lack of being an emotion-showing pussy. George Clooney is a rebel, the kind that sets women’s loins afire with sweet passion. He plays the part of this hard-arse crim with a solid set of principles that he doesn’t break for anyone, and he pulls it off very well. Quentin Tarantino’s character scares the shit out of me. He’s sick in the head and with annoying little brother syndrome and he is a source of many a chuckle of the ‘humor negro’ variety. Also, how fucking weird is that guy’s head? It’s like a weather balloon ran into the back of his head when he was a kid and just decided to stay there. I mean, shit, his forehead looks like it could fit a second pair of eyes with room to spare. Christ man, wear a hat at the very least. That shit is distracting.

The props department came up with a fantastic array of vampire fighting weapons and tools for this film. We see a holy water super soaker, holy water condom water bombs, a pump action crossbow and, my personal favourite, a jackhammer-based auto staker. You’ll have to see this baby in action to truly appreciate its vampire killing capabilities. Also, as previously mentioned, you will see a crotch gun. This consists of a black leather cod piece which hides single barrel, twin cylinder revolver style set up where the two cylinders sit just below, and to either side, of the six inch barrel. Why would anyone wear this? Who designed it? These are all valid questions to which I have only one answer. Tom Savini.

To sum things up neatly, this is a fantastic movie which I strongly feel belongs in the cult section of any video store. It has everything you could want all wrapped up in one tasty package. And while it’s kind of horror, it’s kind of comedy and it’s certainly kind of action, I can’t just stick one label on it and be satisfied. It’s all of them and so much more. It’s a film made for fun by people who enjoy what they do. It’s made for them as much as it’s made for the fans. It’s a little nod of a tribute to the B grade horror movies of the 80’s and 90’s. It is almost worth watching entirely just to for the line "What's in Mexico?" "Mexicans." and to hear George Clooney refer to himself and Quentin as "a couple of real mean motor scooters". Fuck, did he just say that shit? What a bad dude he is. I loved this cult classic, but then I love George A. Romero films too.

If you asked me of my personal opinion about this film, and let’s face it – you are – I would describe it as “rockin’”. Watching this movie caused my dick to grow sideburns and made my beer 26% more delicious. I give it four and a half burritos out of a possible five enchiladas.
This movie has something that the whole family can enjoy, especially if your whole family like vampires, gore and tits.

I’d take my mum to go see it. You might not want to take my mum, she’s pretty judgemental.